I've never been compelled to record life in order to look back on it. Why would I want to re-live memories that weren't great to begin with?

If anyone had made a family movie of me as a child it wouldn't have been very exciting. There I am in a chair, reading. Oh, and there I am again sitting on some steps. And that's me looking at something.

Last night I found myself watching a repeat of a reality show. I've decided the only thing worse than watching a reality show is watching a reality show you saw six months earlier, that wasn't even reality to begin with.

Could I sink any lower? Why not eat an entire pot of Haeagen-Dazs and chew off my feet while I'm at it?

When The Apprentice USA was on in America, everyone I knew was into it. So I watched one episode and I got hooked. The suspense gave me something to look forward to.

Then it ended. I moved on. But now, six months later, I'm watching the same episode again. How sad is that? I know what happens. I know who wins. The people in the show have got on with their lives. What's wrong with me?

I changed the channel. Maybe there was some real reality I hadn't seen yet.

On the news was an 80-year-old heckler being ejected from a political conference. I turned back to The Apprentice. Watching politicians makes watching stale reality TV even more appealing.

My friend Derek called. When I told him what I was doing he was horrified.

That's pathetic, he said. I agreed. But hold on. Hadn't he recently watched a repeat of a football match? Why is it acceptable to watch a sporting event that's already happened but if it's a reality show, it's pathetic?

"Because it's historical," he said. "And I can learn from it." What, and I can't learn from observing Big Stacie back-stab Little Stacy? I'll have far more uses for that strategy than he'll ever have for examining the slow-motion replay of a penalty kick. How will that help him in his property business?

Maybe watching a reality show wasn't as sad as I thought. I bet the people who go on these shows have tons of family movies at home, where they're laughing at birthday parties and smiling on holiday - and look how they turned out. I feel better already.